In the annals of film history for as many movies that get made, there have to be, at least, ten times as many that will never see the light of day. For whatever reason, whether it is budgetary concerns, similarly-themed productions at rival studios, the director butting heads with high-ranking executives, the pervading politics of the time, etc.
Though we'll never know about them all, Tales From Development Hell: The Greatest Movies Never Made?, from author David Hughes, chronicles some infamous cases of unmade movies; the attempts to adapt The Lord of the Rings long before New Line Cinema put their company on the line with Peter Jackson including John Boorman and yes, The Beatles as we’ve all heard, Ridley Scott's Crisis in the Hot Zone and that long awkward period for Batman fans in the aftermath of Batman & Robin but before Christopher Nolan brought the character back to life onscreen.
How do you go from something as ambitious, and awesome-sounding, as Adam Rifkin's Return to the Planet of the Apes to the Tim Burton-helmed "reimagining" in 2001? As often the case, the moment higher-up executives are shown the door; the projects they shepherded tend to meet the same fate. As a lifelong Apes fan, it's fascinating to read of all the ill-fated revival films starting with the afore-mentioned Rifkin iteration in the late 80s, described as "Spartacus with apes" about the descendant of Charlton Heston's Taylor leading a human revolt against the Roman Empire era apes. Right down to the details of its Lawrence of Arabia-inspired teaser trailer. Much as the franchise eventually went back to its glory days with last year’s prequel Rise of the Apes, have to admit I'd love to see the alternative universe to see how Return would have turned out.
Easily my favorite chapter of the book though focuses on Crusade, what was meant to be the reunion of Paul Verhoeven and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Developed in the early 90s in a time when sword-and-scandal epics were a thing of yesteryear, Crusade wasn't exactly a sure thing with its intended brutal violence or political statements against Christians and Muslims. But what it did have was Arnold, still in his mega-star status, in what could have been another iconic role as Hagen, a thief who cons his way into knighthood joining the Crusades. Unfortunately, the $100 million price-tag along with Carolco's financial woes and Arnold beginning to show signs of box-office morality (The Last Action Hero bombed as Crusade was entering pre-production) forced the studio to make a choice. Either make the hard-R rated Crusade or the PG-13 pirate adventure Cutthroat Island. After producing the latter, Carolco went belly up.
Details like that are what to expect over the course of the 272 pages. If this subject matter is your kind of thing, then it's hard pressed to imagine how you won't enjoy this as a causal, Sunday afternoon, lay-around-the-house read. Tales From Development Hell is available now.
Wed, February 29, 2012 
