First Footage of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug Coming This March

This time during the early aughts, we'd be anticipating The Lord of the Rings hitting DVD in its theatrical form. Followed by the Extended Edition in the fall all the while building up to the latest installment of the trilogy for its theatrical release that Christmas. It was fun. The right amount of time to get it out of our system, cooling off and then readying for more.

Warner Brothers is wise in following that same strategy for The Hobbit. The theatrical version of The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey hits shelves March 19 with the Extended Edition (I know, I know... Wasn't the one in theaters the Extended Edition?!) closer to the holiday season. So where is the preview for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug?

As opposed to relegating it to the home video release, we'll have the opportunity of footage online here. Sunday March 24 is the date for the live first look hosted by Peter Jackson. If you miss it good reader, it'll leak pretty soon after if it isn't officially released.

Hopefully Jackson doesn't dick around and avoid Smaug. He's the selling point of the second Hobbit entry and since Benedict Cumberbatch's star status is closely creeping towards supernova it would be wise to utilize him. Nobody wants to see Bilbo fall down some more (as great as Martin Freeman is in the role) or the dwarfs singing or farting.

The Hitman Reboot You Didn't Ask For Is Coming

Fox threw darts at a board six years ago and made a Hitman movie based on the supposedly popular video game (If it ain't Nintendo, I know nothing of it... and even then it's still foggy). A pre-Justified Timothy Olyphant starred and it made some coin. Not enough for Tom Rothman to trudge ahead on another one so it languished into nothingness.

But reboots are the rage. It's all the kids talk about at the playground besides how criminally underused Girls is treating Zosia Mamet. Reboots haven't 100% caught on (Movie-goers were initially confused at how Batman Begins wasn't a prequel to Tim Burton's Batman) but they're on their way, and I guess Fox figures why not try it out on the video game movie sub-genre?

A new Hitman restart is underway with a title, to their credit, that might help avoid any upfront "Huh?" from the folks: Agent 47. And they're getting a more recognize actor to shave his head in Paul Walker. He hasn't carried a picture by himself. Fox figures the Fast & Furious popularity is enough (You guys see the Fast 6 trailer and Super Bowl spot? Holy Mother of God is that gonna make bank!)

Filming starts this summer overseas. Don't worry. It'll still probably suck.

Sean Bean Set to Die in the Wachowskis' Jupiter Ascending

The Simpsons had their own "Death Toll," but that fictional piece of machinery would, no doubt, implode at the sight of Sean Bean's filmography. Someone even took it upon themselves to create a video montage of his executions over the years. I'd post it here but it requires logging in (What with all the violence) and truthfully it's pretty disturbing.

Every time Bean takes on his latest role we all ask, "How far along till he eats it?" That's how sure we are. He didn't croak in Mirror, Mirror, you might say. But I hear the European version is pretty graphic (Not really).

The actor has joined the cast of Jupiter Ascending, the latest from the Wachowskis following the brilliant but little seen, Cloud Atlas. He'll play Sting, a character described nothing short of a "Han Solo-type." I suppose that means he's cool. Not exactly a stretch for the English actor given he is, in fact, cool on and off screen.

For those curious, the plot of Jupiter centers on the romance between a Russian immigrant (played by Mila Kunis) and an animal-like bounty hunter (Channing Tatum type-cast as always) on the run. The kids love bestiality mixed with their sci-fi actioners. And remember, this is Andy and Lana's straight-forward commercial vehicle.  

Officially Official: Disney Confirms Star Wars Spin-Offs

If there is anyone who can milk a cash-cow dry, it's Disney.

So when CEO Bob Iger made his intentions clear upon purchasing Lucasfilm last fall, we knew they meant business. They're going in the Star Wars business with a simple strategy. Make Star Wars movies. Lots of Star Wars movies. A new trilogy (The "Skywalker Saga") and a batch of separate standalone installments.

He reiterated those plans this afternoon to CNBC. Everyone is running across the hills pretending this is breaking news. Truthfully it isn't. This is old news. Save for one intriguing revelation. Their spin-off projects (under the collaborative eyes of Lawrence Kasdan and Simon Kinberg) are aiming for release concurrent with the new trilogy starting with the J.J. Abrams-directed Episode VII.

For the next six years (Assuming VII makes 2015, which Iger stated is still the plan), Disney wants a Star Wars film a year. They don't seem concerned with overexposing the brand-name. I get it. They're replicating the Marvel strategy. But that's apples and oranges. Those are individual films building up to one big event tentpole. Star Wars, the name it carries with it, is an event all to itself. 

The Adventures of Yoda and Zack Snyder's Seven Jedi may sound great on paper. But so did Star Wars: The Clones Wars. You can have your countless cartoons and live-action series (Don't doubt for a second that won't happen), Disney. Just stick with the trilogy for now.

Chris Pratt Leading the Guardians of the Galaxy

Funnyman Chris Pratt showed with his turns in Moneyball and Zero Dark Thirty he could do drama. Not a trace of his doofus Andy Dwyer persona to be found in either performances. Marvel is taking the initiative one step further.

They've selected Pratt to headline Guardians of the Galaxy, the James Gunn-helmed intergalactic superhero epic. He'll play Peter Quill (AKA Star-Lord), the Earth-born leader of the group.

Latino Review said Tony Stark meets up with the Guardians at the concluding moments of Iron Man 3.  So we might get our first look at Pratt in character this May (Filming doesn't commence 'till after it opens).

Fast & Furious 6 Trailer!

Here's the first full trailer (aka "Extended First Look") to Fast & Furious 6:

About Yoda, First Star Wars Spin-Off Film Is?

You watch The Empire Strikes Back and The Return of Jedi and marvel at Frank Oz. His portrayal of Yoda, the puppetry and voice, is the signature work of his career. It's hard to describe but you watch those two films and never think Yoda is a puppet. He is real.

Oz and George Lucas weren't able to subsequently recapture that magic. They had their heads in the right place for The Phantom Menace going the puppet route again. But once Yoda went CG, forget about it. It was gone. To his credit Lucas never once digitally-enhanced Yoda from Empire or Jedi. As much grief as he got for his tinkering (and re-tinkering... and re-re-tinkering), he was smart enough to leave that alone.

AICN reports the first of those promised Star Wars spin-offs will center on the 800 year old Jedi Master. Details are sparse beyond that. The priority is making sure J.J. Abrams doesn't fumble the ball on Episode VII and delivers an old-fashioned, space-opera adventure harkening back to the original trilogy.

Will this transpire? It's hard to imagine, I gotta be honest. Kathleen Kennedy is hearing every Star Wars pitch under the sun (Remember the Zack Snyder Seven Samurai with Jedis? You know that was real with his people immediately cried foul). Then again, Lucas selling off his company to Disney is equally hard to imagine and here we are.

New Viral Video Wants You to Join Cobra!

How good is this Cobra "Recruitment Video?"

The G.I. Joe: Retaliation viral video has the look of the U.S. Marines commercials down cold from the look all the way to the Keith David voice-over. Gotta hand it to Paramount, this is a pure slice of genius.

Source: Cobra Special Forces (via Coming Soon)

No Pacific Rim Super Bowl Spot? Here's Some Pictures Instead

Can't begin to... fathom how monumentally stupid it was for Warner Brothers to avoid the Super Bowl. The Hangover Part III doesn't need the extra attention because it's The Hangover Part III. On the other hand, the more they spread it towards Pacific Rim and The Man of Steel, the better.

They need it. Hell they scream they need it. But no, the day after the Big Game, instead we have new pictures via USA Today. Because that's totally the same as the highest watched sporting event of the year. And no, filmmakers tweeting how amazing it was doesn't count. Rian Johnson is a very good filmmaker but his liking Pacific Rim means diddly dick to the general public and whether or not they want to see it.

Marvel Has Interstellar Plans For The Hulk

It took long enough. But Marvel figured out how to properly handle the Hulk thanks to The Avengers. Use him in a limited capacity. See the "Hulk vs. Loki" YouTube sensation. That success, however, doesn't mean they won't take a crack at another solo Hulk movie.

Latino Review reports they have game plan on everyone's favorite angry green giant for Phase Two and even Phase Three (No surprise Marvel is already that far ahead). Spoilers below, bitches...

At some point during The Avengers 2 (I'm guessing the ending), the Hulk is deemed too big a threat and jettisoned into space. That leads the way to Planet Hulk. It's not your run of the mill, "Bruce Banner on the run" story; he ends up on another planet, becoming a gladiator and eventually becoming king.

That in turn will be the catalyst for The Avengers 3. The Hulk, and an army of his new extra-terrestrial allies, returns. And as you would expect, he's pissed at Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

Those are some bold plans. But Marvel has done nothing but take risks up to this point and look at how much they benefited.