I See Naked People

Yes, a cheap joke. But as you know, I am a cheap man.

Remember ten years ago when everyone thought Haley Joel Osment was going to be the next Jodie Foster and/or Ron Howard? What the Hell happened? Spielberg's A.I. has grown in quality over time (for my money) and Secondhand Lions was cute. It’s not like the kid turned into Lindsay Lohan, but then again we haven’t seen him onscreen in forever it seems.

THR says that's about to change. He's set to star in the comedy Sex Ed for commercial director Isaac Feder. He'll play "a college graduate who dreams of teaching high school Algebra but due to budget restraints, ends up teaching sexual education, despite being a virgin. He discovers an unlikely mentor in a blues bar, a ruthless enemy in the local PTA, and a gorgeous Polish girl for whom English is a distant second language."

Eh, don't want to judge a book by its cover here. Maybe this is one of those quiet little projects that sneaks up on everyone and turned out great. Or its direct-to-video crap. We'll see.

Brian Cox Joins Rise of the Apes

A report from The Wrap says scenery-chewing great Brian Cox has joined the cast of 20^th Century Fox's Planet of the Apes prequel (*Sigh*) Rise of the Apes. This is a reunion for Cox and director Rupert Wyatt having previously worked together on The Escapist.

Cinema's first Hannibal Lector (or Lecktor as it’s spelled in Manhunter) will play "the villainous owner of a primate sanctuary who runs the facility without compassion for the animals that live there." I'm guesstimating his abuse stems from either punching or flipping off the monkeys.

Either way, he's another solid actor getting a nice paycheck for an otherwise pointless project.

No 3D for Sucker Punch

About two weeks ago, director Zack Snyder dropped hints to Music Television (as reported by Mitch Anderson) his latest Sucker Punch would in fact not be post-converted to 3D. This is despite Warner Brothers making it loud and clear all of their big-releases would be presented in the gimmick/technology from hence forth.

Coming Soon has received confirmation on the matter. The source of this info is the closest you'll hear to Snyder himself – his wife/producing partner Deborah.

The short version is basically this. The 3D results as of late look like crap and the film supposedly looks great enough as is. There's also this looming 3D backlash with the general public thanks in no part due to the ass-tastic reception to Alice in Wonderland, Clash of the Titans and The Last Airbender's slapped-on 3D. Plus it's not like the Snyders are 100% against it as a whole. Their forthcoming Legend of the Guardians was specifically worked on with 3D in mind from the get-go a la Avatar.

Then again, there’s always the chance WB heads come down from the top of their mountain and order them to do 3D or else!

Did Zachary Levi Read For Superman?

We were bound to start hearing names – regardless of whether or not it's bullshit.

Geek Tyrant reports they know of at least one actor whose read for Superman/Clark Kent in Warner Brothers' forthcoming reboot The Man of Steel – Chuck star Zachary Levi.

Before anyone starts with the "Chuck Bartowski as Superman?!" knee-jerk reactions, keep in mind Levi was originally supposed to appear in Kenneth Branagh's Thor. He even went as far to get into ripping shape for the role – that of Fandral, one of the "Warrior's Three." Although he's not someone we'd heard personally, I could see it. Assuming this is legit (the site is labeling this under "Rumor").

Yes, this is especially odd in a "Six degrees of Kevin Bacon" fashion given two of the higher-profile guest starts on Chuck were Brandon Routh (the most recent cinematic Kal-El) and Matthew Bomer (Brett Ratner's favorite while he was onboard).

The site additionally reiterates the rumors of Jonathan Nolan serving as the director. Someone who yours truly first reported back during my tenure elsewhere (the link is down so I'll instead link to my pal Clint Morris).

Oh, God! It's Betty!

There are only a few films I'd honestly react negatively to hear someone was remaking. This is not one of them – despite the original film being good and still enjoyable to this day.

"TOLDJA!" says an update of Carl Reiner's Oh, God! has been pitched to Warner Brothers.

The original 1977 comedy starred John Denver as a supermarket manager summoned by God himself (played by George Burns) to act as a then-modernized Moses. It was a nice li'l comedy that wound up being one of that year’s biggest hits and inadvertently spawned a franchise.

Word is Betty White would be the God of choice were the studio to give the thumbs up. Granted there's yet to be an acceptable script and this iteration is just starting up.

But would audiences show up in droves to see White act as Jehovah to Paul Rudd (pitched as the other lead)? Probably, people never stopped loving that woman and she's had a career resurgence as of late.

Untitled Cancer Comedy Settles On New Title - Live With It

I'm With Cancer was a great title. But I suppose it’s considered too "off putting" for movie-goers. I can’t argue against that logic. Look at what happened to another Seth Rogen production with a troubling title, Zack & Miri Make a Porno. Creatively, it was great but it was a marketing nightmare and the movie under-performed.

For months the comedy/drama (starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rogen, Anna Kendrick and Bryce Dallas Howard and directed by Jonathan Levin) has been going by Untitled Cancer Comedy and it looks like the filmmakers have finally settled on a title – Live With It. This is according to Rama.

For those unaware, here's the plot synopsis:

"Based on an incredible real-life experience, LIVE WITH IT is a funny, touching and original story of friendship, love, and survival starring Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Anna Kendrick, Bryce Dallas Howard and Angelica Huston. Adam (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is an average guy in his mid-20s when he’s diagnosed with a rare form of terminal cancer. His family and friends – from girl-crazy best buddy Kyle (Seth Rogen), to insecure girlfriend Rachael (Bryce Dallas Howard) and overbearing but loving mom (Angelica Huston) – attempt to help him through this process in the best way they know how…which is reflected in some of the most hilarious and bizarre ways ever."

I like it – more ambiguous and less in-your-face than the original title. We'll see if the masses go for it regardless of whatever the Hell the title is.

Sam Worthington Gives Clash of the Titans Sequel Update

Warner Brothers and Legendary Pictures are pretty intent for that Clash of the Titans sequel. Like it or lump it, we’re getting a follow-up in cinema-houses by spring 2012. Does it matter that most people walked out not digging the finished product or that the 3D was ass?

From the sounds of star Sam Worthington, they’re making an effort to listen. Speaking to Coming Soon, the actor (who will reprise his role of Perseus early next year) had this to say:

"[It} will be 3D this time," said Worthington, making it clear that he himself wasn't happy with the post-conversion process of the first film, "Shot in 3D. Do put that in and make them f--king aware... When I read Clash 2, they came to me the other day. I said, 'I kinda dig where it's going, but can we make the character more of this? Can we make it more of that? Can I get to play a lot more and get involved and have a lot more f--king fun than just being a young man who has to stand there and look pretty?' I'm sick of doing that, so it's kind of a case of, 'How do we make Perseus a lot more fun?' So we're sort of shaping it down that track. And Warner Bros. has been nice enough to give us a bit on input."

That’s all well and good. But again I know very-few folks who liked Clash of the Titans, and I happen to be one of them. Will the general public show up in droves like they did when the Louis Leterrier-directed remake opened? I doubt it.

Will Bruce Banner Walk the Line?

While Marvel and Ed Norton persist in their public war of words (via HitFix), there’s still one issue to be resolved. Who will be the third actor to portray mild-mannered anger-management scientist Bruce Banner in The Avengers?

CHUD reports an offer has been sent out to Joaquin Phoenix, of all people. The Oscar-nominated actor-turned-public nut job is taking his sweet ass time considering the offer. If he gives the thumbs up, there's a legit chance the studio could officially announce him at Comic Con next Saturday along with director Joss Whedon and the other members of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.  

If the studio (rather wisely) opted against working with the notoriously difficult Norton again, how is going for the "Is he or isn’t he bat-shit crazy" Phoenix an up-grade? In a way, it's irrelevant who plays Banner. We'll mostly be seeing the angry green giant and Marvel has made it clear the role is interchangeable having gone through three actors in under ten years.

But getting an actor like Phoenix suggests the House of Ideas (and, of course, the Mouse) are eyeing for a third go-around at a solo franchise. Considering the previous two Hulk films were both pricey under-performers, the general public has let it be known. Nobody cares about the character besides fandom.

Kevin Bacon Versus the X-Men

No one should be surprised. X-Men: First Class is said to be about the friendship of Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender), their formation of the School for Gifted Youngsters and their eventual drawing a line in the sand over their ideology. So we couldn't expect Magneto to be the film’s primary heavy. We had to be on his side through a decent chunk of the prequel.

"TOLDJA" reports the antagonist role is expected to be filled by none other than Kevin Bacon. Just who he's playing exactly is up in the air.

We all make our "Six degrees of..." jokes. But he’s quite the chameleon truth be told. Check him out in The Woodsman for no further proof.  I'm just curious as to the identity of his baddie.

Lucas Till Joins X-Men: First Class; "Misdirection Campaign" Going On?

Because there wasn't enough news, rumors and 100% Grade-A Internet bullshit to confuse us about X-Men: First Class for one day.

Entertainment Weekly reports there seem to be a "misdirection campaign" in order to keep the element of surprise for fans. That’s all well and good. Nothing wrong with keeping us guessing till that midnight screening next summer - just ask J.J. Abrams! But when you see your youthful thespian walking around the set drinking a Diet Pepsi and he’s wearing blue fur; that might give away who they're playing. Just saying, guys!

It's with that acknowledgment they divulge actor Lucas Till will play Havok, a character who in the comics is the little brother of one Scott Summer (aka Cyclops). Well, how do we know he's actually playing that particular character then? Couldn't that itself be a part of this "Let's fuck with fans' heads" initiative.

Oh and speaking of Cyclops, remember those month-long rumors of Aaron Johnson playing the role – the same one we did a report on just this morning? It's a big fat piece of bologna. Not just as Xavier's sun-shades wearing pupil, but for any role in the prequel. Don't expect to see the Kick-Ass (whose finance just gave birth to their child – congratulations) period.