Juan Montoya Doesn't Know How To Drive A Race Car

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know anything about NASCAR. I tried to watch these "races" and I can't get into it. To me it's just cars going around in circles. That doesn't mean other people shouldn't enjoy it, and a large amount of our population do. I like things that other people don't like either, who am I to judge.

That being said, after delays because of rain, the Daytona 500 finally finished up on Monday night. It eliminated House from my viewing that night which I wasn't happy about. Also, these are the most skilled drivers in the world, they can't drive in rain? Sweet guys. I guess rain or not, Juan Montoya couldn't stop himself from crashing into a truck which was trying to dry the track. Professional adults, driving in circles.

Navy Testing Giant Rail Guns. Watch Out.

I don't know what the hell this thing is, but I want one. The Navy is testling out these "rail guns" that fire using magnets. All I know is it looks like a dude is taking a giant wrench and stuffing it into a gun that explodes from a giant barrel and shoots into the distance in a ball of fire.

A test shot fires from the Office of Naval Research-funded Electromagnetic Railgun prototype launcher located at the Naval Surface Warfare Center Dahlgren Division. The test shots begin a month-long series of full-energy tests to evaluate the technology. This prototype, developed by BAE, is the first of two industry-built launchers that will bring the Department of the Navy a step closer to producing a new-generation, long-range, weapon for surface ships.

Batman Runs Around Toronto

I don't know what posessed these maniacs to film this but it came out pretty damn funny. Some dude dressed up in a Batman suit and ran around Toronto telling people to answer to him. He ends up at a party and even eats a Slim Jim along the way.

This is probably what Batman would actually do if there was a Batman.

The Sickest, and Most Awesome, Fake Commercial You've Ever Seen Has a Sequel!

Last July, a fake Skittles commercial hit the interwebs - won't post it here for the sake of good taste though you can follow the link at your own discretion. It was filthy, stomach-churning and the kind of work that makes you question the mental stability of the filmmakers upon viewing. So yes, we loved it.

Well, brace yourself, folks, here is the sequel, courtesy of Pajiba:

Facebook Is Also Full Of Morons

Not only are there morons on the social networking site Twitter as pointed out by the always political Jamie Williams of this very site, they're on Facebook too. A plethora of users distressed with the news that Whitney Houston had passed away dealt with their grief with touching words for the deceased popstar and pictures of Oprah for some unknown reason.

Sweet guys. Way to be racist. All succesful black women look the same? Head over to BuzzFeed to read Facebook posts from 20 of these brain power juggernauts.

Mattel Readying Their Own Hoverboard

We're three years away from 2015 and the world has yet to be graced with flying cars, self-drying jackets or Ronald Reagan video-waiters at 80s nostalgia restaurants promised by Back to the Future Part II. To be fair, Lea Thompson looks better than they said she would by this time!

Of course, what BTTF II conversation would be complete without the Hoverboard, the item Robert Zemeckis tricked us all into thinking was real back during the late 80s/90s. Remember they did a Back to the Future TV special where Kirk Cameron of all people "confirmed" the whole thing was a hoax?

As per Gizmodo, Mattel isn't getting any closer to breaking hoover technology anytime soon (Read: ever!) but they are offering a replica of the one Marty McFly rode in the sequels! You can pre-order it starting March 1 at Matty Collector, and remember they don't work on water. Unless you've got POWER!

Twitter Is Full of Morons

The Grammys aired last night. I wouldn't know. The moment the news broke of Whitney Houston's death, you knew everyone was going to tune into the ceremony the following night to see a room full of celebrities pretend like they cared about her. Save for Jennifer Hudson, because she's awesome.

Paul McCartney also performed and, according to Buzzfeed, many took to the Twitter to collectively respond, "Who the fuck is Paul McCartney?" Sigh. Now before you say or do anything rash, remember a majority of these Twitters are kids and will be the people running the world and taking care of us when we're out of our minds, pooping our pants all day and watching Judge Judy.

Best course of action: wipe out the current teenage population and start over.

Not So Nature Savy News Anchor Gets Lip Mangled By Dog

They're talking about putting this dog down after it bit a news anchor on live television. That wasn't a good move by the dog, but the news anchor should step up and stop the insanity. Yeah dogs shouldn't bite people, but does the dog need to die because the news anchor stuck her face in the jaws of an animal. A little harsh.

Don't Go Against Family On Facebook Or Dad Will Shoot

This guy is a true American legend. His daughter ripped her family on Facebook so he took her laptop, but didn't stop there. He sat down in a chair and read a manifesto for about 7 minutes. Then, he took out a .45 and riddled that laptop with bullets. Sniper.

He even fired a shot off for mom. I mean you can question his parenting skills, but you can't question his skills with a gun. Nice shooting Tex.

Dad Of The Year Almost Kills Family With Manhole Cover

I've seen some stupid ass parents in my life, but this guy takes the cake and won't share it with anybody. The father decides it would be a good idea to put a firecracker in a manhole cover with his kids inches away. No wonder once the guy almost gets decapitated the kids run away from him. Somehow the manhole doesn't hit him and destroy his face, the blast actually propelled him away from it! I think for his next trick he'll book three tickets for him and his kids on the Costa Concordia.