Burger King Hits a New Low

McDonald's is #1 because, like Wal Mart, they pop up unsuspectingly in small towns and bleed out the local vendors. Wendy's got their act together, improved their menu and customer service and surprised everyone to take #2 among the top fast-food hamburger chains last year. That left Burger King in third place.

Only reason imaginable it's even that high up is, like its Golden-Arch competitor, they are everywhere. They're just all shit holes. Or as my pal Ed Hocken refers to the chain, "the real life answer to Krusty Burger." So how does a dump chain turn the other cheek? What is that one speciality item to make our already dangerously-high, artery-clogged, fat-asses look up and say, "I gotta try that!?"

The Burger King French Fry Burger.

Hocken is right. We are living in the world of The Simpsons, minus the irony. Next up they'll introduce their brand-new Whopper. With ketchup! All the while, keeping the same reusable grease and half-assed serve that put them in third place and, if they're not careful, might wind up below Jack In the Box in another year or so.

Souce: Time