For the Under 1% Who Demanded It - Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters First Look

Coming off their geniusly half-assed, hit-whoring "Best Movie Prequels of All-Time" list that included Batman Begins, even though that was a reboot and in their first sentence confessed, "Yeah...it's not really a prequel," Entertainment Weekly has your first look at Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters, starring Jeremy Renner (as he begins ascending the over-exposure mountain once conquered by Jude Law circa 2004) and Gemma Arterton.

The revisionist yarn that answers the question we all wondered as small children, "What if Hansel and Gretel were like, totally fucked up after that whole 'gingerbread house' episode and turned into Dog the Bounty Hunter?"

The trailer, they say, drops next Thursday. Until said footage premieres and either shuts me up or adds fuel to my fire, it's all snarky-bastard from yours truly on the subject of this one.