Jessica Alba Gets Her Machete On

Who needs to see footage from Machete when we've had that awesome fake trailer in front of Planet Terror for two years now? Nevertheless, the Mexploitation-epic is expected to hit cinemas sometime next year. Don't think a specific release date has been determined yet, correct me if I'm wrong.

In the mean time, Coming Soon has a look at a poster of Internet whipping-girl (there's a thought) Jessica Alba as Sartana. Presumably there will be other one-sheets released including on-and-off screen bad-ass Danny Trejo as our hero, Cheech Marin and Michelle Rodriguez (as a "saucy taco slinger!") among others.

And as an added bonus, here is Alba this past weekend out celebrating Halloween. Dressed as Dora the Explorer. You're welcome. Does thinking she looks extra hot in that outfit make me a pervert?

Salt Teaser Trailer Unveiled

Yahoo! Movies has the teaser trailer for Salt posted. The forthcoming spy-thriller furthers Angelina Jolie's decision to keep her filmography in the action/thriller genre. That's where audiences seem to prefer her. The former Tomb Raider's highest-grossing films are in that category with her two-movie stint as Lara Croft (still holding my breath on that reboot to move forward over at Warner Brothers), Mr. & Mrs. Smith and 2008s shit-tacular Wanted.

This latest effort will do fine commercially. But it looks rather dime-a-dozen for my tastes. Meh.

New Sherlock Holmes Trailer Hits

Of the big releases hitting in the coming two months, it seems like Sherlock Holmes is the one most people are anticipating. Anytime I talk to friends, co-workers and so on, it's always the movie they bring up. "I can't wait to see that! It looks awesome!" being the typical response I hear.

With the would-be blockbuster's Christmas Day release quickly approaching, MTV has the latest trailer up. And while it has elements we've seen from the previous two trailers, it beefs up the action, comedy and Rachel McAdams (always a good thing!) My one complaint is it lacks the "key" sequence that ended the first trailer. Said gag (and Robert Downey Jr's delivery) brought down the house every time I saw it with an audience.

Sherlock Holmes is going to be a big hit in my never-so-humble opinion. Surely, I'm not the only person who thinks.

Clash of the Titans Posters Leaked

I still think Clash of the Titans will end up being the biggest of the three high-profile films starring Sam Worthington - domestically speaking. That's right, I said. I think it's going to be a bigger hit than James Cameron's Avatar. Right or wrong, I stand by those words. Now looking at these latest images, I can't help but feel more sure of that.

Aint It Cool News has received eight exclusive posters from the forthcoming Louis Leterrier-helmed remake. They include a nice juicy look at Gemma Arterton (from Quantum of Solace) as well as a tease of Medusa. Those posters are in addition to the ones featuring Worthington's Perseus in various epic hero poses and actions including the one shown to the right of your screen.

Meanwhile, Hit Fix has their own exclusive first look at Titan posters. The one they have comes in the form of Ralph Fiennes as Hades.

Wow. Judging 100% from the posters from both sites, Titans looks beyond bad-ass. I have a funny people audiences are going to eat this up when it hits cinemas this coming March 2010. Looks like my Movie Moan pal Phil will get his "Barbarian tits and ass" sword and sandal epic - minus the former. Sorry, Phil.

Alec Baldwin & Steve Martin Hosting the Oscars

It was universally agreed that Hugh Jackman did a great job hosting the Oscars. Hell, his popularity resulted in the best ratings for the telecast in quiet awhile. So I assumed that he'd return next year, no questions asked. No dice for the Wolverine star. He's said to have turned down the opportunity.

So we're back to square one. Of course, there have been plenty of rumors. Our pals over at We Are Movie Geeks reported that Neil Patrick Harris had the job. That made plenty of sense. He hosted the Tonys and Emmys earlier this year to great acclaim. So it seemed like the perfect fit. But it appears to no dice for him either.

Now the AMPAS has officially announced the next host(s) will be Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. That's right, ladies and germs. We're getting a duo this time out. Of course, the pair will be headlining the Nancy Meyers-directed Meryl Streep-co starring It's Complicated this coming Christmas. But by the time the ceremony airs, the film will have long been released (and succeed or fail regardless). So it's irrelevant.

There have been a number of people to suggest having multiple hosts this time out instead of the usual one-man (or woman) show. I was pulling for Steve Carell myself. But I really like teaming Baldwin and Martin together. This could be something worthwhile.

To Khan Or Not To Khan

Are fans really clamoring to see a rebooted Khan show up in the Star Trek sequel? Do they lack that much of an imagination? Jesus Christ, that’s about as lazy as having Zod as the villain in the next Superman movie. Check out Phil’s Memo to the Executives to see what he’d do with the second film in the Abramsverse. Hint: there’s no Khan whatsoever.

Nonetheless, MTV asked Abrams themselves and there-after got one Helluva non-answer:

"Dealing with Khan would certainly be a challenge, but we had an equal challenge in finding our crew of the Enterprise. While I don’t want to approach the second film as a remake of episodes we’ve seen in the past... nothing is off limits in terms of what we’re discussing."

With all due respect will Abrams and/or screenwriters Alex Kurtzman & Bob Orci please do everyone favor and just answer the damn question(s) with a definitive “No.” Does anyone seriously think they’re going to reboot that character this soon in juncture? Maybe by the time a third or fourth one comes along, but not now.

Who Motion-Captured Roger Rabbit?

Off the curtails of confirming a Roger Rabbit sequel was being written, MTV now has more details from Robert Zemeckis. Actually this is the same sit down where they got the first batch of information. But who wants to reveal everything at once when you can spread it out and thus further hit-whoring.

The Back to the Future helmer reveals that his love-affair with motion-capture technology will continue with the planned return to Toon Town. He apparently would also like to use 3-D as well (being that it’s featured in A Christmas Carol – opening this coming Friday). Ugh.

Rest assured, we shouldn’t expect to see characters like Roger or Jessica being created from either technology this go-around either. Thank God, as he clarifies:

"I wouldn't use it for the cartoon characters, because I think they should stay two-dimensional because that's what — I wouldn't dimensonalize Roger. And I couldn't dimensonalize Jessica even if I wanted to because she doesn't have a nose. We wouldn't want to give her a nose."

It's too early to know whether we'll see a return of the great Bob Hoskins' Eddie Valiant. Only way I can see him show up is if the sequel is a 100% mix of motion-capture and 2-D animation with zero live-action elements. I mean, it's not like he looks exactly the same since we last saw him in the 1988 original.

New Prince of Persia Trailer

Apparently Jerry Bruckheimer and the Mouse didn't make enough money from three Pirates of the Caribbeans and two National Treasures (both with further sequels in development). They've now turned their attention to Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. This might have value to some due to the popularity of the video game its said to be adapted from.

Nonetheless, the good folks over at IGN Movies has the new trailer available for your viewing. I can safely say I'll pass when this hits next May.

Robert Rodriguez Off The Jetsons?

Oh sure, I didn't care one bit about a Jetsons movie. Frankly, does anyone? But the notion of Robert Rodriguez directing seemed fitting. The guy has a knack for silly kid-friendly crap - what with the Spy Kids series, Shark Boy & Lava Girl and this summer's bomb Shorts.

Pajiba reports that the filmmaker is over-loaded right now with Machete in post-production, Predators about to start production, writing the script for a fourth Spy-Kids outting and those Barbarella and Red Sonja remake everyone knows will never happen. Alas the world will be deprived of seeing Danny Trejo as Mr. Spacely as the Sin City director is now off the would-be property.

Apparently, Warner Brothers couldn't get enough talent interested like Jim Carrey as George Jetson. Normally, I would normally say, "Like Carrey would resort himself to such lowest common denominator garbage!" All one has to do is look at the ads for A Christmas Carol to know better. I mean, he can't do that much worse. Right?

With Rodriguez gone, the site says the gig is all but certain to go to Peter Segal who recently delivered a sizeable-hit with Get Smart. I realize he has a thing for comedies and all. But this does feel like something that's below even him.

Plus I think I speak for everyone when I say, I'd prefer seeing him direct the just-announced Dirty Old Men with Morgan Freeman instead.

District 9 Sequel Not Happening Any Time Soon

Spoiler Warning: When it’s revealed at the end of District 9, that our hero Wikus is in fact alive and well (albeit fully transformed into a prawn), I cheered. After all the shit that poor schmuck goes through during its 112 minute running length, I was genuinely happy to see him still kicking. Granted, such an interpretation of that ending is up for debate. There was also the promise of the film’s other lead Christopher and his son coming back and turning Wikus back to his human form.

So there was sequel opportunity if the movie was a success. Boy, was it a hit. $200 million worldwide box-office later (against its reported $30 million budget), there were plenty of those who wanted a return to the world created by its writer/director Neil Blomkamp. Well don’t expect to see a follow-up any time soon, according to Deadline Hollywood.

The site states that Blomkamp and producer Peter Jackson are just plain too busy right now to focus on a District 9 sequel. It could happen “at some point” says one contact. Blomkamp is already working on his next directorial effort and Jackson has The Hobbit and Tintin on his slate among others. Hell, even Sharlto Copley is a busy man – what with him playing “Howling Mad” Murdock in The A-Team for next summer.

As much as I loved District 9 (and would give Blomkamp and his team the benefit of the doubt), I’d rather not see a sequel get made. Isn’t it much better to use your imagination and determine on your own whether Christopher fulfilled his promise and made Wikus human again?