Eric Bana Up For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Just this morning it was reported (via NOLA) that New Orleans would be the primary shooting location for Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Doesn't sound like a particularly good idea for a movie in my opinion, and yes, I'm aware it's based on a popular novel. But if that means jobs for my local film economy, then bring it on.

With such a short time to go, that would imply director Timur Bekmambetov has either secured his honest Abe or coming damn-close to doing so.

According to The Wrap, it's the latter with Eric Bana circling the role and expected to meet with Bekmambetov soon enough.

My real concern here, as I suggested on the Hole Cast, is by the time this hits cinemas (June 22, 2012) along with the controversial Buffy the Vampire Slayer reboot and the final Twilight movie will the vampire craze have died out? Don't know if the notion of our 16th President going all Wesley Snipes (killing the undead - not tax evasion) will be that intriguing for audiences.

George Clooney Boards Gravity

All that talk about losing Robert Downey Jr. looked to be the killing stroke for Gravity, Alfonso Cuaron's space-set thriller. Even with a big-name like Sandra Bullock headlining, Warner Brothers rightfully wanted someone else to help sell the project abroad and Downey's forced exit (The old "conflicting schedules" predicament, gentlemen) was the latest of many hurdles it's faced. It just looked like it would forever rot in Development Hell.

But salvation has come in the form of a leading man both Cuaron and Warner Brothers have agreed upon and now George Clooney has stepped into the role, reports Heat Vision.

Production is aiming for a spring 2011 start once Clooney wraps on his next directorial feature, Ides of March with Paul Giamatti and Ryan Gosling.

What's ironic about this (although don't interpret this as me bitching) is Clooney isn't really that big a box-office draw. That in itself makes you scratch your head about WB's justifiably Hell-bent position of wanting mega-stars to ensure this expensive, and ambitious, movie will make money.

But again I'm not complaining. I've been looking forward to anything Cuaron has cooking upstairs.

Miramax & Weinsteins Developing Sequels to Stock-Library Hits

The Disney-less Miramax has struck a deal with The Weinstein Company to produce sequels across-the-board to past glories like Bad Santa, Rounders and Shakespeare in Love, among others. Said agreement also includes a multitude of potential theatrical and direct-to-video follow-ups or television-incarnations of properties ranging from Bridget Jones's Diary, Swingers and Clerks.

As our pals at Pajiba pointed out, just how many of these actually get made is the real question. The two have Scream 4 and Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World set for release next year. Perhaps they're waiting to see if either click with audiences like they once did a decade prior: the former doubtful, the latter I could see doing well.

You can't help but smell that reek of desperation. Television has become a dominant force for quality writing with many arguing its trumped theatrical releases. It's not hard to imagine watching Bridget Jones as a BBC series or even Kevin Smith's Clerks.

But giving the world Shakespeare in Love 2? Come on, guys.

Superman Lives Test Footage! Your Eyes Will Bleed!

Sometimes when things are tough in life, I get down on my knees and say, "Well, at least Tim Burton didn’t make Superman!"

It's getting repetitive reporting on the latest batch of photos coming from FX artist Steve Johnson. But still it's mind-numbingly fascinating to see such a disaster in front of our eyes and wonder if the filmmakers involved realized that. Or were they genuinely shocked when Warner Brothers pulled the plug on the unmade Superman Lives, to be directed by Burton and starring Nicolas Cage in the title role, back in 1997.

This time, Johnson has provided video test footage from one of several suits, to be used in the film, in action (via Topless Robot and Collider). Marvel in its sheer level of "What the fuck were they thinking?"

Meanwhile back to the rational side of things Superman-related, Zachary Levi reaffirmed his non-status as the next cinematic Man of Steel to Movie Hole in a tongue-in-cheek manner:

"I've already turned them down. Seems like kinda a stiff part!"

Not exactly who I think will end up wearing the red cape, but he has the charm (and acting) factor in his favor. Also being tall and lanky didn't stop Christopher Reeve from being dismissed either – fuck you very much, picky fanboys.

Jon Favreau Exits the House of Ideas - Won't Direct Iron Man 3

Walking out of Iron Man 2 this past May, I wasn't primed to see a third installment or The Avengers. The latter which Marvel, in no subtle fashion, shoved down our throats with zero regard for the narrative of the second Shellhead movie.

We've all since heard rumblings Jon Favreau himself wasn't pleased with it either. Mix that together with his not being hired for The Avengers, which he reportedly very much wanted, and the fact that Disney/Marvel went ahead and set a May 3, 2013 release on Iron Man 3 without comment on its director status (and remember how it practically took the studio all summer long back in 2008 to commit to a deal for him to direct Iron Man 2?) and this result isn't surprise in the slightest.

Jon Favreau will not direct Iron Man 3, courtesy of Vulture.

As of last night, Marvel has begun searching for their new helmer. But there are some hurdles to overcome. No script is on the table (as of this publishing, no screenwriter has been commissioned), they have the afore-mentioned May 2013 release hovering over them, no start-date penciled in, and the big jalapeño here, Robert Downey Junior's deal ensures he gets director approval.

May I go ahead and make my Iron Man 3 director suggestion? Why not get that Kiss Kiss Bang Bang reunion and apprehend Shane Black?

All the while, Favs is finishing up on Cowboys & Aliens (which I think will be one of the surprise hits of 2011) and starts work on his next feature The Magic Kingdom for Disney.

Three Stooges For Hire!

What'll end up happening is some classically-trained, brilliant but unknown actor will get cast, and will forever be associated as a physically-violent, dim-wit.

With the all-star cast of Jim Carrey, Benicio Del Toro and Sean Penn off, the Farrelly brothers are going for no-names to fill in the iconically-stupid roles of Larry, Curly and Moe for The Three Stooges.

Production is aiming for a Spring start and auditions commence next month, and the good folks at What's Playing have the casting breakdowns:

"MOE
The unquestioned leader of the Three Stooges, Moe is a numbskull who barks orders and expects unquestioned obedience from his two hapless companions, Larry and Curly. STRONG VERBAL AND PHYSICAL COMEDY SKILLS REQUIRED - Age range early 30’s to early 40’s.

LARRY
An imbecile with an eccentric fringe of pullable frizzy hair, Larry is the bird-brained member of The Three Stooges, a victim of Moe’s bullying and Curly’s effervescent insanity. STRONG VERBAL AND PHYSICAL COMEDY SKILLS REQUIRED - Age range early 30’s to early 40’s.

CURLY
A chubby, bullet-headed idiot whose hair never grows more than an eighth of an inch, Curly is irrepressible, outgoing, unpredictable, and utterly chaotic. STRONG VERBAL AND PHYSICAL COMEDY SKILLS REQUIRED - Age range early 30’s to early 40s."

So if you look stupid enough for their type, go for it.

Obligatory Golden Globe Announcements & "How Pointless They Are!" Rant

Every year we get up extra early, and every year we complain about the Golden Globes nominations. 2010 didn't disappoint as the Hollywood Foreign Press Association proves once again with their picks how it's about what celebrities eat their ass the best. It's the cliché response to say they should just come right out and make a "Best Blowjob" category. But you know what? Clichés, stereotypes, etc. come from somewhere.

But I digress.

Here are this year's nominations and marvel at how crap like Alice in Wonderland and The Tourist (aka Johnny Depp's not-so-hot year for quality flicks) get nods. The King's Speech led the pack with seven nods with The Fighter and The Social Network tied for second with six a pop.

You can easily guess who'll win on January 16, but at least Ricky Gervais is hosting. He's...amusing.

Best Picture - Drama:

Black Swan

Inception

The Fighter

The King's Speech

The Social Network

Best Picture - Musical or Comedy:

Alice in Wonderland

Burlesque

Red

The Kids are Alright

The Tourist 

Best Director:

Darren Aronofsky - Black Swan

David Fincher - The Social Network

Tom Hooper - The King's Speech

Christopher Nolan - Inception

David O. Russell - The Fighter

Best Actor - Drama:

Jesse Eisenberg - The Social Network

Colin Firth - The King's Speech

James Franco - 127 Hours

Ryan Gosling - Blue Valentine

Mark Wahlberg - The Fighter

Best Actress - Drama:

Halle Berry - Frankie and Alice

Nicole Kidman - The Rabbit Hole

Jennifer Lawrence - Winter's Bone

Natalie Portman - Black Swan

Michelle Williams - Blue Valentine

Best Actor - Musical or Comedy:

Johnny Depp - Alice in Wonderland

Johnny Depp - The Tourist

Paul Giamatti - Barney's Version

Jake Gyllenhaal - Love and Other Drugs

Kevin Spacey - Casino Jack

Best Actress - Musical or Comedy:

Anette Benning - The Kids Are Alright

Anne Hathaway - Love and Other Drugs

Angelina Jolie - The Tourist

Julianne Moore - The Kids Are Alright

Emma Stone - Easy A

Best Supporting Actor:

Christian Bale - The Fighter

Michael Douglas - Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Andrew Garfield - The Social Network

Jeremy Renner - The Town

Geoffrey Rush - The King's Speech

Best Supporting Actress:

Amy Adams - The Fighter

Helena Bonham Carter - The King's Speech

Mila Kunis - Black Swan

Melissa Leo - The Fighter

Jacki Weaver - Animal Kingdom

Best Screenplay:

Danny Boyle and Simon Beaufoy - 127 Hours

Lisa Cholodenko - The Kids are Alright

Christopher Nolan - Inception

David Sieber - The King's Speech

Aaron Sorkin - The Social Network

Best Animated Feature:

Despicable Me

Dragon

Tangled

The Illusionist

Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Language Film:

Biutiful

I Am Love

In a Better World

The Concert

The Edge

Best Original Song:

"Bound to You" - Burlesque

"Coming Home" - Country Song

"I See the Light" - Tangled

"There's a Place For Us" – The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

"You Haven't Seen the Last of Me" - Burlesque

Best Original Score:

Alexandre Desplat - The King's Speech

Danny Elfman - Alice in Wonderland

AR Rahman - 127 Hours

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross - The Social Network

Hans Zimmer - Inception

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Trailer

We were just discussing a number of past-their-prime franchises with sequels, prequels and reboots hitting in the next few years on Movie Moan yesterday. With Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, I don't see what else this series has to offer after those last two fucking atrocious follow-ups from 2006 and 2007.

From the looks of the newly released trailer for the fourth installment courtesy of Yahoo! Movies (this time under the direction of Rob Marshall, and in Disney 3D, of course!), it looks like more of the same. Correction: there are mermaids and zombie pirates. That's totally different!

A big fat "Fuck no!" for me, and I'd like to think audiences have wised up too.

Yogi Bear "Alternate Ending"

Alas if you're dragged by your five-year-old to see Yogi Bear this Friday, don't expect to see this ending. But damn don't you wish this was really in the finished film and furthermore genuinely real?

I'll shut up while you enjoy this clip. Well, at least while it's still available.

Thor Trailer

If you saw that Comic Con preview this past summer and were hoping the eventual first official look at Thor would be an upgrade, prepare to be let down. This is basically what you saw in July albeit condensed and with finished effects. Yahoo! Movies has what's labeled the "teaser trailer," although there's plenty of damn footage here.

Like its DC rival Green Lantern next summer, Kenneth Branagh's epic has a lot to overcome (despite being over-stuffed with a wide range of name and established character-actors headlined by the unknown Chris Hemsworth, having the Marvel brand-name and a prime May 6th opening) with its just-plain silly-sounding concept. Curious to see this in front of an audience.