Full-Retard Rumor of the Day: Lindsay Lohan Up for Superman...Again?

I shan't waste too much time on this one nor will I even link to the offending site.

A few months back a "rumor" surfaced that Zack Snyder, the Nolans and Warner Brothers/Legendary Pictures/DC were desperate (or certified stupid) enough for star-power on Superman: The Man of Steel that they were considering Lindsay Lohan for a role. Remember back in those care-free days of 2003 and 2004 when her career showed oh, so much promise? It reeked of bullshit back then, and this "update" stinks just as bad. Even a dumbass like me knows how bad this smells.

Why bother covering it then? Probably because I'm in a bad mood and feel like ridiculing the stupid and hit-whoring types; maybe my blood sugar is too high right now (if that's possible from having half a bowl of Cheerios this morning with 2% milk and sugar-free coffee).

The problem here is easy. She isn't exactly insurable in her current state, and if you read the tabloids, might have her constantly-misdemeaning ass going to the slammer in August; the same time the Superman reboot starts production. Then that's the li'l matter of them even wanting her, and having to deal with her well-documented unprofessionalism on set, to begin with.

Flight of the Conchords Star Joins The Hobbit

The likes o Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Andy Serkis and Cate Blancett aren't the only Middle-Earth alum returning for The Hobbit.

Variety reports Flight of the Conchords star Bret McKenzie (who had blink-and-you'll miss it parts in Fellowship of the Ring and The Return of the King) is the latest addition to the growing cast coming in-and-out of the production during its year-and-half long shoot. Filming has been underway for the last two weeks, and he won't be the last actor to be announced for the two 3D prequels. There's still the matter of nabbing down Hugo Weaving to return.

The trades say McKenzie will play Lindir, said to be an Elf of Rivendell. Sorry, I tried (really, I did!) to get into the Tolkien books before Fellowship opened ten years ago. But I couldn't get past the detailed ramblings of Middle-Earth.

Sean Hayes IS Larry in the Three Stooges

Boy is The Three Stooges mounting to up to be an...interesting affair.

Last week, comedian Will Sasso (whom I remember vividly from his Mad TV stint) was pegged to step into the role of Curly, and now Variety reports after a search that included contenders to the throne of Stooge middle-man Larry Fine that included Sean Penn and James Marsden (both inspiredly "out there" choices) Sean Hayes has been selected.

The Will & Grace star is a fine actor, but it takes a second to let it settle in visualizing him with that hair and being slapped around by Sasso's Curly and whomever the Farrelly Brothers settle on for Moe. Although if they're listening (and they aren't nor is this casting choice remotely realistic), I'll echo the thoughts of AICN's Alan Cerny: Daniel Day-Lewis for Moe!

Deathly Hallows Part 1 - More Deleted Scenes

Two new deleted scenes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 have surfaced online.  The scenes will be included (without the subtitles, obviously) on the DVD/Blu-Ray, which will arrive in stores on April 15.

First up, is the Harry/Dudley farewell scene.  The was an unexpected moment from the opening chapters of the book, and many fans were disappointed when it didn't appear in the film.  Luckily, we get to see the scene now, and even though it's clearly unfinished, it's still kinda sweet:

The next deleted scene is between Ron and his dad.  It's not much, other than giving us another glimpse of Arthur Weasley's love of all things Muggle-related as he fixes up radios for everyone in the Order of the Phoenix in his garage:

In other Potter-related news, it appears Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was test-screened in Chicago this weekend.  While the film was reportedly far from finished and some fans apparently have their knickers in a bunch over a change towards the end (oh, for god's sake, it's not that bad), the consensus around various Potter fansites is that the final film, which opens on July 15, is going be pretty damn good.

New Photos From "Dolphin Tale"

ComingSoon.Net has an interesting set visit preview & batch of new photos for the upcoming true story of Winter the dolphin featured in "Dolphin Tale".

On December 10th, 2005, Winter was only three months old and swimming in the Mosquito Lagoon of New Smyrna Beach, Florida when her tail got wrapped tightly in the line of a crab trap. She was discovered and taken to Florida's Clearwater Marine Aquarium for rehabilitation, even though the injuries she sustained made it unlikely she would survive, especially after her tail had to be amputated. Through the combined efforts of the Aquarium, vets, and prosthetic specialists, a new tail was developed for her, the first of its kind for such a young, inexperienced swimmer. It has enabled her to grow to be a whopping 235 pound movie star!

"Monsters University" Logo

The Pixar Blog did a little digging and unearthed the logo for the upcoming "Monsters Inc." prequel which is called "Monsters University". Logo looks pretty straight forward and generic, but it certainly might be worked on as we go forward. The prequel will take us back in monster time when Sulley and Mike Wazowski were roaming the halls as classmates at Monstropolis' University of Fear.

Our Stupidest Fears Confirmed: The Governator Is For Real!

This sounds like the perfect Funny or Die! sketch. Only it's for real and not an unfortunately timed too-late-after April Fools prank. I know because it's the cover story for the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly and noticed during my weekly ritual of partaking in the magazine while on the shitter.

Oh yes, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Stan Lee (The same "Stan the Man" campaigning to appear in The Dark Knight Rises – not-so-subtly telling the world he’s jealous of Warner Brothers/DC Comics, perhaps?) are forging their powers together to bring the world...*wait for it*... The Governator!

Coming Soon has the trailer for the planned animated series that will accompanied by a live-action 3D feature film, comic-books, action-figures, Cuban-cigars, condoms and the works:

Once again, this is for real, people...

Will & Jaden Smith's Next Goal: Make an M. Night Shyamalan Film

For all the shit the Internet has given Will Smith for pushing his kids in the spotlight (as unhealthy as its proven to be for, oh I don't know, most child actors thanks to their stage parents), the general public doesn't seem to mind. Hell, they appear to be just as charmed by Jaden Smith as dear old Mom and Dad are at home.

Throw li'l Jaden in a "feel-good/inspirational" big Christmas release with Sir Willie (The Pursuit of Happyness), and it's a big hit. Slap him in that already-unnecessary The Day the Earth Stood Still remake and they're still lapping it up, and just last summer they proved their power after The Karate Kid remake kicked the shit outta Hannibal Smith & the A-Team.

So, what's the next other untouchable thing the Smiths can turn to gold? How about an M. Night Shyamalan film? Most of you kids were in diapers when he last made a good movie.

Sony has announced today that Will and Jaden will both star in an untitled sci-fi adventure film to be directed by Shyamalan. Here's the bare-bone, non-spoilery plot synopsis:

"Set 1,000 years into the future, the project centers on a young boy who navigates an abandoned and sometimes scary Earth to save himself and his estranged father after their ship crashes."

The story originated back in October via Heat Vision and was at the time, presumably no longer, under the working title One Thousand A. E.

Weekend Box Office: April 1-3

Courtesy of Box Office Mojo:

1.  Hop -  $38.1 million

2.  Source Code - $15 million

3.  Insidious - $13.4 million

4.  Diary of a Wimpy Kid:  Rodrick Rules - $10.2 million

5.  Limitless - $9.4 million

6.  The Lincoln Lawyer - $7 million

7.  Sucker Punch - $6 million

8.  Rango - $4.5 million

9.  Paul - $4.3 million

10.  Battle Los Angeles - $3.5 million

So apparently, people like Easter movies now.  Hop, the story of a Russell Brand-voiced runaway rabbit who'd rather be a rock star drummer than take his rightful place as the Easter Bunny, easily won the weekend with $38.1 million.  That's not as good as the opening weekend of Illumination Entertainment's previous (and much better) film, Despicable Me, which opened with $54 million last summer, but it was still an impressive opening. 

As far as the movies for the grownups, Source Code, the Jake Gyllenhaal sci-fi thriller opened a decent but unspectacular $15 million.  Insidious, the latest evil-kid horror film from Saw director James Wan and produced by the folks behind the Paranormal Activity films had a great weekend, earning $13.4 million.  I say "great weekend" because the film reportedly had a budget of about $1.5 million.   

Last week's champ, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, dropped 57% and down to fourth place with $10.2 million.  That movie already raced past its reported $21 million budget last weekend, so I don't think anyone is worried about it at this point.

Anyone looking for some quiet time this weekend could have just attended a showing of Sucker Punch, because those theaters were mostly empty. The Zack Snyder fantasy film crashed and burned this weekend, dropping a horrendous 68% and finishing the weekend with only $46 million.

An F-bomb-free version of The King's Speech also opened this weekend, earning $1.1 million. 

It was another quiet weekend at the box office, down 30% from this same weekend last year when Clash of the Titans ruled the box office with some bad 3D to the tune of $61 million. 

Russell Brand invades the box office again next week in the remake of Arthur (and again I ask, why in the hell did they need to remake this?), which will compete against the fantasy spoof Your Highness, as well as the kiddie assassin thriller Hanna, and shark-attack film Soul Surfer. 

"Kung Fu Panda 2" TV Spot #3

MovieWeb has another "Kung Fu Panda 2" TV Spot. More Jack Black and more Jack Black.

Po is now living his dream as The Dragon Warior, protecting the Valley of Peace alongside his friends and fellow kung fu masters, The Furious Five – Tigress, Crane, Mantis, Viper and Monkey.  But Po’s new life of awesomeness is threatened by the emergence of a formidable villain, who plans to use a secret, unstoppable weapon to conquer China and destroy kung fu.

It is up to Po and The Furious Five to journey across China to face this threat and vanquish it.  But how can Po stop a weapon that can stop kung fu?  He must look to his past and uncover the secrets of his mysterious origins; only then will he be able to unlock the strength he needs to succeed.