Gotham is Keeping Its Mayor for The Dark Knight Rises

Remember back when Nestor Carbonell's name was floated around for a hypothetical Khan in J.J. Abrams' Star Trek 2?

No updates on that one. Thank God, I'm sorry but jumping in that direction is way too soon when other (and better sounding) options are out there for Team Abrams. Alas Carbonell will have to "settle" on playing as Gotham Mayor Anthony Garcia again. The hardships these actors must face at times...

Variety reports the Lost actor will return for The Dark Knight Rises, and, for the moment, appears to be the only cast-member exclusive to the second film returning for this one. One only assumes we'll have scenes with him riding on Gary Oldman's ass about catching "the Goddamn Batman!"

G.I. Joe Sequel Has Its Title & It’s as Silly as Rise of Cobra

If the world must have a sequel to G.I. Joe, then please movie gods let it continue in the same path of awesomely-retarded, epic non-sense and carnage as Stephen Sommer's The Rise of Cobra.

NOLA confirms what we've known for awhile. The G.I. Joe sequel is filming in my backyard (not literally, sadly) with Channing Tatum, Ray Parks and Lee Byung-hun are the only cast members reprising their roles of Duke, Snakes Eyes and Storm Shadow, respectively. The Jon Chu-directed follow-up also has a title - G.I. Joe 2: Cobra Strikes.

I can already taste the cheese.

Taylor Lautner Peach-Fuzz? Totally Gonna See Abduction Now!

Remember that desperately "teen Bourne" vibe from that Abduction trailer? Want something to convince you there's more to the movie?

Unfortunately all Just Jared has is a poster. But if you were hoping for a big-ass one-sheet full of peach-fuzz from the Twilight actor, then you are in luck!

From Mars to Gnomes - Zemeckis Refuses to Give Up on Mocap

Just when you thought it was safe to write off Robert Zemeckis & his motion-capture hard-on, they pull you right back in!

Heat Vision says a month following Mars Needs Moms joining the ranks as one of the great box-office bombs of our times Zemeckis' Imagemovers is back in action. They're attached to produce How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack, based on the book by Chuck Sambuchino.

Here's a description from Amazon:

"Move over zombies and adolescent vampires.

There's a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.

Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range."

Imagine the marketing department won't be stating "From the people who brought you A Christmas Carol, Beowulf and Mars Needs Moms" assuming this actually gets made.

3D Gimmick May Have Claimed Its Latest Victim: Star Trek 2

Two items have popped up on the subject of Captain Kirk, Spock, Bones & Co. courtesy of What's Playing.

First, the Star Trek sequel is locked in to start filming this September (Talk about balls-tight production schedule – but hey, that's on them!) Secondly, looks like this 3D non-sense is rearing its ugly head for Trek 2 again. Not definite, but word is J.J. Abrams is mulling over "adding a stereoscopic 3D element to the newly polished enterprise." The key word there is "might."

Translation: Abrams is willing to make a concession to shut Paramount up. As if it needs that gimmick to secure more asses in seats next June.

This all feels like my diet, in a way. It's going to happen, but there are the good and bad days to weather through. On some, I'm confident, feeling like a million bucks and staying the course. Followed by those type days with the uncertainty, doubt and self-loathing of being a fat-fuck – all you fatties out there know what I’m talking about.

New Cowboys & Aliens Trailer Continues Its “Looking Cool as All Hell” Status

If you happened to not watch American Idol tonight and/or don't care about that series to begin with, then you missed out on the new trailer for Jon Favreau's Cowboys & Aliens.

Thankfully for those cats (myself included amongst them; I gave up on it years ago), Apple has said trailer for your viewing pleasure. I'm sure someone will have this posted on YouTube in HD in a manner of minutes, if not sooner.

Not too terribly much to add that I haven't said before. This new trailer for me at least furthers my own personal hunch this is going to be a much bigger hit than anticipated.

It's still a silly title, but I have to say all the trailers and TV spots they've cut together have done an excellent job convincing the general movie-going public to look past that. In a round-about-way, it also shows why Favs just plain doesn't "need" Iron Man anymore and will do just fine without old Shellhead.

Judd Apatow's Latest is Called This is Forty

Not too terribly much to go off here. But it's cool. Gives us a better idea of what to expect with Judd Apatow's latest.

We knew it was a Knocked Off spin-off with Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann reprising their characters Pete and Debbie. This time with their married couple as the center of the story with Megan Fox and Albert Brooks as Rudd's father (genius li'l piece of casting there, Apatow!)

Coming Soon has a nice piece of the puzzle – in this case the title, This is Forty.

They haven't gotten confirmation from Universal or anyone from Apatow’s camp. But I see no reason to not take them at their word. Presumably, as they also state, this comedy/drama is the writer/director's answer to turning 40 in the same The 40 Year-Old Virgin was about growing up, Knocked Up about becoming a parent and Funny People about being a comedian.

SOMEBODY Feels Confident – DreamWorks Commissions Real Steel Sequel

DreamWorks seems to think "boxing robots" blended together with everyone's favorite Hugh Jackman will be enough for Real Steel to KO the box-office (A part of me just died typing that...) this October.

While I obviously haven't seen the film myself, I can vouch that audiences I've seen the trailer with reacted generally positive. Apparently the studio has been undertaking some screenings here and there recently to great reaction.

So even despite another six months till its release (and we'll get another trailer between now and then), "TOLDJA" says they're already thinking sequel. Hey, I like money too. So I suppose I can't hold that against them. John Gatins, who adapted the original Richard Matheson short-story into the Real Steel script, is back onboard for a second round of penning duties.

Don't ask me to guess what a sequel would entail – professional robot wrestling?

Even The Hangover Part II Posters Look Like Copies of the First Film

Six individual-character posters for The Hangover Part II are up at Yahoo! Movies.

Here are two of them for your viewing pleasure - all seconds of which you'll think, "Wow...OK. So these are the posters. Moving on..." For the rest, you'll have to get off your lazy ass and click on the link above. Because we all know you just want to see Zach Galifianakis and the monkey. None of you are chomping at the bits to see the Justin Bartha-themed poster.

“Shockingly” Amy Adams Chose The Man of Steel over Rock of Ages

The moment Amy Adams committed to Lois Lane for The Man of Steel, the writing was on the wall. She wasn't going to do Andy Shankman's Rock of Ages.

Yes, I realize both are being made under Warner Brothers and both are hitting next year. But she was going to have to pick one of them, and the notion of paying for her great-grandchildren's college education doing a bunch of Superman flicks sounded more enticing to her than one musical. So it's not surprising in the slightest to hear she passed on Rock of Ages, according to "TOLDJA."

Did she make the wiser choice? Her accountant reportedly said, "Fuck yeah!"